虽然对我而言，在校的每天都相当放假。不过还是挺期待这种大家都放假的氛围。
今天下午三四点困意袭来，看动漫到五点，还是上床睡了一觉。伴随着梦醒来的时候喉咙有点痒，咳了几声在黑暗中睁开了眼睛，室友都不在。一个人在昏暗中独自醒来，这样的时刻清明自由。
9.28 大四的预推免工作结束，wzj 本来挺想去中南的，也为之规划了挺久，后来阴差阳错去了哈工大，他初始觉得挺可惜，不过焉知非福了，未来的事谁说得准呢。于是在昨晚，叫上了高中的一些同学，主要聊天，顺便给 zj 分享了一些自己最近读研/工作的体会。也好久没和他们打电话聊天，开了个在线会议在 b 站直播。后来直播间提及了一些敏感词立马被封了。
我和 rzf 嫉恶如仇，拾人牙慧偷来的观点助长了某些人的傲慢，以至于他虚荣地给人贴上“思想觉悟不够”的标签，意识不到自己不尊重生命和人格的观点是多么丑陋，甚至放弃思考。很难想象这是身边相处很久的人会有的观点，也正因为是朋友，才会更加气愤。是的，没有人会永远单纯，只是想不到 ljj 走向复杂的第一步是变得如此不堪，也许这变化和他大四关注了某些 up 有关，也许从他们身上学到了新奇的思考问题方式，或是某些真知灼见，变得夸夸其谈，不会从自己能够理解的，能够把握住的角度出发，在空中轻飘飘地急于表现自己的进步。当人试图提醒他实事求是，他总能找到道理来找到反驳的角度，已经丧失了与最有血有肉的普通人共情的能力，放弃对真理的追求，当身边的朋友（lzh, rzf, 我）企图刺痛他时，他却是一副老成的样子，“就你们那个思想觉悟”。我现阶段已经放弃与他对话了，还是让生活对他严厉些，让他意识到自己和大多数百姓一样是个具体的人，面对不公时会气愤、遭受挫折是会消沉的，而不是在那里摆弄概念和卖弄观点。也许那时，还能做回没有缝隙的朋友。
谈到被封的直播间还是不得不表达出上面的想法，昨天 rzf 和 ljj 吵架也是因为这个，在那前几天我也刚因为这个和他吵架，更久之前 lzh 也有一段。
昨晚和高中同学们聊到很晚，总体上还是很放松满足的，看起来大家的生活状态不算差，尽管大家迷茫悲观仍有。但与之相对，有的时候意识到前路不明朗证明是在思考的，进步过程是在慢慢发生的。
希望自己能尽可能地时刻保持反思能力。
Donald Knuth - My advice to young people ) - YouTube
If somebody said what advice would I give to a young person, they always ask that funny kind of a question. And I think one of the things that I would, that would sort of come first to me is this idea of, don’t just believe that because something is trendy, that it’s good. I’d probably go the other extreme where if something, if I find too many people adopting a certain idea I’d probably think it’s wrong or if, you know, if my work had become too popular I’d probably think I’d have to change. That’s of course ridiculous but I see the other side of it too often where people will do something against their own gut instincts because they think the community wants them to do it that way, so people will work on a certain subject even though they aren’t terribly interested in it because they think that they’ll get more prestige by working on it. I think you get more prestige by doing good science than by doing popular science because if you go with what you really think is important then it’s a higher chance that it really is important in the long run and it’s the long run which has the most benefit to the world. So usually when I’m writing a book or publishing a book it’s different from books that have been done before because I feel there’s a need for such a book, not because there was somebody saying please write such a book, you know, or that other people have already done that kind of thing. So follow your own instincts it seems to me is better than follow the herd. My friend Peter Wegner told me in the ’60s that I should, for “The Art of Computer Programming” I shouldn’t write the whole series first, I should first write a reader’s digest of it and then expand on the parts afterwards. That would probably work for him better than me, much better, but I work in a completely different way. I have to see something to the point where I’ve surrounded it and totally understood it before I can write about it with any confidence and so that’s the way I work, I don’t want to write about a high level thing unless I’ve fully understood a low level thing. Other people have completely different strengths I know but for me, you know, I wrote a book about a few verses of the Bible, once I understood those verses and sort of everything I could find in the library about a small part of the Bible, all of a sudden I had firm pegs on which I could hang other knowledge about it. But if I went through my whole life only on, without any in depth knowledge of any part then it all seems to be flimsy and to me doesn’t given me some satisfaction. The classic phrase is that liberal education is to learn something about everything and everything about something and I like this idea about learning everything about an area before you feel, if you don’t know something real solid then you never have enough confidence. A lot of times I’ll have to read through a lot of material just in order to write one sentence somehow because my sentence will then have, I’ll choose words that make it more convincing than if I, if I really don’t have the knowledge it’ll somehow come out implicitly in my writing. These are little sort-of-vague thoughts that I have when reflecting over some of the directions that distinguish what I’ve done from what I’ve seen other people doing.